A New Beginning is Hard!

I am very thankful to have been blessed with a wonderful girlfriend, Samantha, after everything I have been through in the past couple of years. It is very exciting to discover feelings within your body, or emotions, that you have never felt before. I mean, every time I see her it's like an explosion in my stomach that makes me feel high, emotionally. Even though we are becoming closer with each day that passes, it's hard for me to not think negative, or be pessimistic. I have been played and used so much in the past for my money, my car, and my heart and I mean it was pretty bad. I've never had anything or anyone close to me in a way where I felt safe, secure, and comfortable. Well, Samantha makes me feel this way and it's amazing. The only hard thing I am dealing with now is thinking of how bad will it end, or if she will leave me, cheat on me, play me, use me, or anything of that nature. I know deep down that she would NEVER do that because I can tell she is an honest and down to earth person, but if you're in my shoes, you can't help but to think like this. I mean, this gets to me a lot during the week and makes me almost sick, and I don't want to feel like this. I want to be happy and joyful that I am with someone that finally understands me for who I really am and can see right through me. I guess because of everything I have been through, my heart is just still trying to recover, and Samantha is helping with that. I do know, however, that whenever I overcome this negative style of thinking, I am going to be a very happy person, and I know that Samantha will never have anything to worry about.