Sunday, February 12, 2012
Friday, December 16, 2011
How Much Money is LOVE Worth?
You can't "buy" love, but what if you could?
* If I had a machine that would make you fall in love with somebody for the rest of your life, what would I charge you to use the machine?
Passionate Love ONLY - This is what we see in new couples today - Where you want to be with that person every minute possible, almost obsessive like. This is also called Limerence - Like waking up early to go get breakfast and missing class to see that person
Men and Women both experience the same levels of passionate love while in a relationship.
Men tend to fall into love, faster and sooner, than women, who tend to be more cautious.
UK Experiment - Compared the feelings of people being told "I love you" for the first time to that of when gamblers win large sums of money,
Hearing I love you is ~ = $267,000
Visualizing the effect money has on a person - Love is democratic, everyone feels it, no matter who you are or how much money you have.
Having more money does not equate to being more happy - Hedonistic treadmill - Getting more money helps with happiness, but only to certain point ($75,000) then money has diminishing returns on how happy it makes you.
Long term, committed relationships - love correlates to living longer.
Life-long pair bonds (a relationship that lasts a lifetime), (long term, compassionate love) - live 15% longer on average (~$30,40,000)
Oxytosin - Chemical released in the brain when you look at pictures of someone who you have had a committed, long term relationship with. Elevated levels have been seen in dogs who have been petted for long periods of time.
Couples, who have high levels of this chemical, solve conflict FASTER.
People who lack this chemical struggle with forming a long term relationship
When you look into the eyes of someone that you like, Oxytosin in the mind is released, a physco active drug that has long term causes of living longer.
* If I had a machine that would make you fall in love with somebody for the rest of your life, what would I charge you to use the machine?
Passionate Love ONLY - This is what we see in new couples today - Where you want to be with that person every minute possible, almost obsessive like. This is also called Limerence - Like waking up early to go get breakfast and missing class to see that person
Men and Women both experience the same levels of passionate love while in a relationship.
Men tend to fall into love, faster and sooner, than women, who tend to be more cautious.
UK Experiment - Compared the feelings of people being told "I love you" for the first time to that of when gamblers win large sums of money,
Hearing I love you is ~ = $267,000
Visualizing the effect money has on a person - Love is democratic, everyone feels it, no matter who you are or how much money you have.
Having more money does not equate to being more happy - Hedonistic treadmill - Getting more money helps with happiness, but only to certain point ($75,000) then money has diminishing returns on how happy it makes you.
Long term, committed relationships - love correlates to living longer.
Life-long pair bonds (a relationship that lasts a lifetime), (long term, compassionate love) - live 15% longer on average (~$30,40,000)
Oxytosin - Chemical released in the brain when you look at pictures of someone who you have had a committed, long term relationship with. Elevated levels have been seen in dogs who have been petted for long periods of time.
Couples, who have high levels of this chemical, solve conflict FASTER.
People who lack this chemical struggle with forming a long term relationship
When you look into the eyes of someone that you like, Oxytosin in the mind is released, a physco active drug that has long term causes of living longer.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Science of Motivation
Science of Motivation (Rethinking how we run our businesses)
Candle Problem from 1945 - Box of thumbtacks, a candle, and matches. You must attach candle to wall so wax doesn't drip onto the table. What do people try to do? (Functional Fixedness - Cognitive bias that limits a person to using an object only in the way that it is traditionally used, or "mental block against using an object in a new way that is required to solve a problem."
Experiment using candle problem (Power of Incentives)
Time how quickly you can solve this problem
1 group - Time you to establish norms, averages, how long it takes for someone to solve problem
1 group -If in top 25% of fastest times, you get $5. If you are the fastest, you get $10.
Took 2nd group three and half minutes longer to solve the problem.
We think "If we want people to work better, we have to reward them". That's not happening here, though.
Mismatch between what science knows and what business does.
If-then rewards eliminates creativity in the workforce.
ROWE (Rewards Only Work Environment) - Higher productivity, lower turnover rate, higher employee satisfaction. Everyone works on their own time, whenever you want. Come and go as you please.
Candle Problem from 1945 - Box of thumbtacks, a candle, and matches. You must attach candle to wall so wax doesn't drip onto the table. What do people try to do? (Functional Fixedness - Cognitive bias that limits a person to using an object only in the way that it is traditionally used, or "mental block against using an object in a new way that is required to solve a problem."
Experiment using candle problem (Power of Incentives)
Time how quickly you can solve this problem
1 group - Time you to establish norms, averages, how long it takes for someone to solve problem
1 group -If in top 25% of fastest times, you get $5. If you are the fastest, you get $10.
Took 2nd group three and half minutes longer to solve the problem.
We think "If we want people to work better, we have to reward them". That's not happening here, though.
Mismatch between what science knows and what business does.
If-then rewards eliminates creativity in the workforce.
ROWE (Rewards Only Work Environment) - Higher productivity, lower turnover rate, higher employee satisfaction. Everyone works on their own time, whenever you want. Come and go as you please.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
This is How Feel
So I'm at work and right now I keep getting so many mixed emotions that it's starting to drive me crazy. Like, one second I can feel very happy and the next I start thinking so negatively that you would think I have some kind of emotional disorder, but thankfully, I don't. I think my biggest problem is that I tend to over think a lot of stuff and that makes my mind analyze more than it's supposed to. I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty. Can I never be fully satisfied? Is that what people always ask the world and I'm finally starting to figure out this out? I sure hope not, because I've always been an overall happy person and I would hate to see myself start falling back down the hill after how far I've gotten in my life. I really just think I'm emotionally depressed because of how I've been treated in the past and after awhile, it takes catches up with me. The only two girls I have ever been in love with both screwed me over and now it's just a mind game for me.
I just want to graduate college and find an awesome career job and start making lots of money so I can either get away from North Carolina and start a new life somewhere else, or start a life with someone. I know that probably sounds lame, but it's true.
So for now, I've got my eyes on two girls who I can see something taking off in the near future. If for some reason nothing is able to work with any of them, I'm going to move to a new place after college and try to start a new life
As much as I love North Carolina, I just want to experience more than what I can here. I'm tired of living a normal life - I want to actually have fun and be carefree and not have a care in the world. I feel like right now that I'm not fully able to do that because of so many constraints that are here.
Maybe after I move away, my mind will be more open and free and happiness will finally find me. Lets hope so.
I just want to graduate college and find an awesome career job and start making lots of money so I can either get away from North Carolina and start a new life somewhere else, or start a life with someone. I know that probably sounds lame, but it's true.
So for now, I've got my eyes on two girls who I can see something taking off in the near future. If for some reason nothing is able to work with any of them, I'm going to move to a new place after college and try to start a new life
As much as I love North Carolina, I just want to experience more than what I can here. I'm tired of living a normal life - I want to actually have fun and be carefree and not have a care in the world. I feel like right now that I'm not fully able to do that because of so many constraints that are here.
Maybe after I move away, my mind will be more open and free and happiness will finally find me. Lets hope so.
Friday, October 7, 2011
So, now what?
Okay, well, Samantha has been in and out of the picture since September. If you recall, we finally settled our differences but still don't see each other often. It would finally seem as if for once, my mind is off a girl for a change... I wish that was the case. Like always, when one goes away, one always shows up.
This time, the situation is very different. This semester, in one of my college classes, I met this girl who is far different than all the rest. I know that seems farfetched, but I'm being serious. She is very outspoken, she doesn't hide her feelings, she's real, and most importantly she is not shy! Not only is she beautiful, but she is very intelligent as well. She works for the Children's Theater in Charlotte, and she is majoring in Arts and Architecture. Every time we sit together in class, it's always something new. Whether it's a random conversation, or different vibes - it seems somewhat, new.
Classic fairy tale story eh? Well, not quite. What I mean is that she has a girlfriend, and I don't mean the typical "best friend" girls have.. I am talking legit girlfriend status. The only thing that I don't know much about at this point is that of her past. Though we do strike up many conversations, we never go into detail about our lives like that. Maybe I should? The only thing I can think of is that maybe she had some guy do her wrong in the past which made her switch to being with a girl? I don't just want to assume because you know what they say about people that assume, right? Okay then.
I just don't want to lose the hope and faith that I can somewhat see in this situation, though. Like, she seems so into me and likes a lot of what I do and say that I can always tell she is happy when we're together. Maybe as time goes on, she will start to fall for me? I don't know, but at this point, I'm willing to at least wait it out. If you know me and my past, you know that I waited 4 years for one girl before, Jessica, who would then go on to get pregnant and start her life elsewhere. That was a fail, yes, but will stop me again from chasing someone I have interest in? No. What I did learn from that, though, is that I will never spend more than a year chasing someone. I guess I can't say never because I can't predict my future, but I would hope that I could use that lost time to do something more productive with my life.
Samantha, who has come and gone, was my most recent relationship. She was the first one to open my eyes to how I know I need to be treated and how it really feels to truly love someone. And even though she is out of my life now, she did leave me with that in which I can use for my own good down the road. In fact, I want to make a list of what my relationships have taught me.
Brittany - Being hopeless in a relationship isn't a bad thing.
Jessica - How to be real - to do what you want to do and not let anyone stop you.
Amanda - You can't truly know someone until you get to see their life.
Samantha - What love is supposed to be life, both ways.
So, if you take all four of those concepts, you can sort of figure that I've learned a lot about relationships. So, if this girl from class were to ever take off, or grow, how would these four lessons learned help me? Can they? If not, what will be my lesson learned from her? These are the thoughts I get in my head that drive me to want to further my research in love and relationships. So for now, I am going to leave everything at this. If anything between her and myself strengthen or weaken, I'll be sure to throw a post up about it.
God is love,
Christian Lawrence
This time, the situation is very different. This semester, in one of my college classes, I met this girl who is far different than all the rest. I know that seems farfetched, but I'm being serious. She is very outspoken, she doesn't hide her feelings, she's real, and most importantly she is not shy! Not only is she beautiful, but she is very intelligent as well. She works for the Children's Theater in Charlotte, and she is majoring in Arts and Architecture. Every time we sit together in class, it's always something new. Whether it's a random conversation, or different vibes - it seems somewhat, new.
Classic fairy tale story eh? Well, not quite. What I mean is that she has a girlfriend, and I don't mean the typical "best friend" girls have.. I am talking legit girlfriend status. The only thing that I don't know much about at this point is that of her past. Though we do strike up many conversations, we never go into detail about our lives like that. Maybe I should? The only thing I can think of is that maybe she had some guy do her wrong in the past which made her switch to being with a girl? I don't just want to assume because you know what they say about people that assume, right? Okay then.
I just don't want to lose the hope and faith that I can somewhat see in this situation, though. Like, she seems so into me and likes a lot of what I do and say that I can always tell she is happy when we're together. Maybe as time goes on, she will start to fall for me? I don't know, but at this point, I'm willing to at least wait it out. If you know me and my past, you know that I waited 4 years for one girl before, Jessica, who would then go on to get pregnant and start her life elsewhere. That was a fail, yes, but will stop me again from chasing someone I have interest in? No. What I did learn from that, though, is that I will never spend more than a year chasing someone. I guess I can't say never because I can't predict my future, but I would hope that I could use that lost time to do something more productive with my life.
Samantha, who has come and gone, was my most recent relationship. She was the first one to open my eyes to how I know I need to be treated and how it really feels to truly love someone. And even though she is out of my life now, she did leave me with that in which I can use for my own good down the road. In fact, I want to make a list of what my relationships have taught me.
Brittany - Being hopeless in a relationship isn't a bad thing.
Jessica - How to be real - to do what you want to do and not let anyone stop you.
Amanda - You can't truly know someone until you get to see their life.
Samantha - What love is supposed to be life, both ways.
So, if you take all four of those concepts, you can sort of figure that I've learned a lot about relationships. So, if this girl from class were to ever take off, or grow, how would these four lessons learned help me? Can they? If not, what will be my lesson learned from her? These are the thoughts I get in my head that drive me to want to further my research in love and relationships. So for now, I am going to leave everything at this. If anything between her and myself strengthen or weaken, I'll be sure to throw a post up about it.
God is love,
Christian Lawrence
Friday, September 2, 2011
Round 2, Fight?
So, Samantha and I haven't had any form of communication since May (4 months ago). After I found out she was cheating on me, she instantly blocked my cell phone number and blocked me on Facebook as well. Time went on, and even though it has taken me much more time to get over her than I thought, apart of me still missed her in my life, even if it wasn't as a "girlfriend". So, last week, I wrote a letter to her sister and asked her if she could send it to Samantha for me. She ensured me that she would - and she did just that.
One day later, while I was at work, my phone alerted me of a text. It was from Samantha - (Her number was still stored in my phone). Awkward, we texted back and forth for about 10-15 minutes before we just got caught up in what we were doing. About an hour later, my phone rang. It was. . . Samantha, and take in account that this was the first time I have heard her voice since May. When I answered, she asked me where she could park at because she was at my work. Shocked, I told her where to park at and she told me she would be inside to see me in a few minutes.
I came up to the information desk, which is where I was informed she was at, and poked her with a surprise "Hi"! She gave me a hug, and we just talked briefly about how things have been going. She stated that she was still with her boyfriend (the one she cheated on me with) but I then assured her from the letter that I'm not the one to judge or hold any grudges. By that time, her sister came through the front entrance, and they had to go. As she walked off almost instantly, she turned back around and made hand motions to "text me". Since last night, we've been steadily texting and carrying on conversations. I asked her to breakfast this morning, but she questioned me by saying "Isn't that considered a date?". So, we were going to after I convinced her, but this morning she called me and said she got called into work.
So overall, I'm happy that this has happend. Am I glad she cheated? No. Am I glad we broke up? No. But, am I glad I at least have her in my life? For sure! This is just who I am, and I know most people look down on me for it, but I think this is the right move.
One day later, while I was at work, my phone alerted me of a text. It was from Samantha - (Her number was still stored in my phone). Awkward, we texted back and forth for about 10-15 minutes before we just got caught up in what we were doing. About an hour later, my phone rang. It was. . . Samantha, and take in account that this was the first time I have heard her voice since May. When I answered, she asked me where she could park at because she was at my work. Shocked, I told her where to park at and she told me she would be inside to see me in a few minutes.
I came up to the information desk, which is where I was informed she was at, and poked her with a surprise "Hi"! She gave me a hug, and we just talked briefly about how things have been going. She stated that she was still with her boyfriend (the one she cheated on me with) but I then assured her from the letter that I'm not the one to judge or hold any grudges. By that time, her sister came through the front entrance, and they had to go. As she walked off almost instantly, she turned back around and made hand motions to "text me". Since last night, we've been steadily texting and carrying on conversations. I asked her to breakfast this morning, but she questioned me by saying "Isn't that considered a date?". So, we were going to after I convinced her, but this morning she called me and said she got called into work.
So overall, I'm happy that this has happend. Am I glad she cheated? No. Am I glad we broke up? No. But, am I glad I at least have her in my life? For sure! This is just who I am, and I know most people look down on me for it, but I think this is the right move.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Make me feel like..
(Name undisclosed),
I'm probably going to be the first person to ever write you something that consist of what I'm going to describe, so if I am, you're very welcome.
First off, like I've assured you before, you have such a intellectual mind and honestly, you are the only person I have came across to have the same mentality as I do. I used to feel like I was a diamond in a haystack, and I couldn't show my full potential, then I found you, and now we can both shine together. Never underestimate your mind, and your feelings. I've already discovered what I am capable of, and that's something that I can not describe how to do. People ask me how to do, and I do not know how to answer. It's just a spiritual thing. But, when it comes to you, I see a mirror of myself, and that is something that assures me that you are lucky. You have so much potential in you, and there are areas of you that I'm sure you haven't discovered yet - but don't worry. It will come. I promise. Your self confidence should always remain high, no matter what. No matter how low life can get, no matter how much someone may hurt you, or no matter much you may sometimes hate yourself, you hold a gift that God gave you - the mind you have. A lot of people come off as dull, and not at all intellectual, and they wish they could be, but they just can't. You have what they want.
Also, you are very beautiful, so beautiful. Don't never doubt anything about your physical appearance. You are one of the, if not the most beautiful girl I've ever met. Not ALL because of your outside beauty, but because of your inside to. You are a very unique individual, and I really want you to understand that. If I had to invest my faith and confidence into 1 person that I had to choose, it would be you because I know you would use it to the best of your ability.
You mean a lot to me, and it is in so many different ways. As many people that have done me wrong, you have treated me better than anyone ever has. You make me feel like the person I've always wanted to be looked at as, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. I know you're going to be someone who will be in my life forever. No matter what - you are blessing from the skies, and I hope you know how much I look up to you. If I can talk to you for hours at a time, and never lose my train of thought, you are worthy of my time. I will always be here to help you in anyway possible. Whenever you need me, I will be here for you. No matter the time, day, or year - you know where to find me. Use it to your advantage. I mean it! Even if it's borrowing $1,000, well, you get the point. Never be afraid to ask, ANYTHING. I'm not the one to judge, and I will try to steer you in the best way possible. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I've made, and I don't want you to get hurt the way I have. You deserve a lot out of life, and a lot out of someone as well. You are that of high value, so you shouldn't EVER settle for anything less than that.
So, with all of that being said, I hope I have restored your own faith in yourself, and have made you feel better about yourself, and life in general. I wouldn't have typed all of this if I didn't feel as if you wouldn't have taken it to heart. You are Jessica Dawn Hill - you are you - and you are one of a kind.
God is love - Love God!
Christian!
I'm probably going to be the first person to ever write you something that consist of what I'm going to describe, so if I am, you're very welcome.
First off, like I've assured you before, you have such a intellectual mind and honestly, you are the only person I have came across to have the same mentality as I do. I used to feel like I was a diamond in a haystack, and I couldn't show my full potential, then I found you, and now we can both shine together. Never underestimate your mind, and your feelings. I've already discovered what I am capable of, and that's something that I can not describe how to do. People ask me how to do, and I do not know how to answer. It's just a spiritual thing. But, when it comes to you, I see a mirror of myself, and that is something that assures me that you are lucky. You have so much potential in you, and there are areas of you that I'm sure you haven't discovered yet - but don't worry. It will come. I promise. Your self confidence should always remain high, no matter what. No matter how low life can get, no matter how much someone may hurt you, or no matter much you may sometimes hate yourself, you hold a gift that God gave you - the mind you have. A lot of people come off as dull, and not at all intellectual, and they wish they could be, but they just can't. You have what they want.
Also, you are very beautiful, so beautiful. Don't never doubt anything about your physical appearance. You are one of the, if not the most beautiful girl I've ever met. Not ALL because of your outside beauty, but because of your inside to. You are a very unique individual, and I really want you to understand that. If I had to invest my faith and confidence into 1 person that I had to choose, it would be you because I know you would use it to the best of your ability.
You mean a lot to me, and it is in so many different ways. As many people that have done me wrong, you have treated me better than anyone ever has. You make me feel like the person I've always wanted to be looked at as, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. I know you're going to be someone who will be in my life forever. No matter what - you are blessing from the skies, and I hope you know how much I look up to you. If I can talk to you for hours at a time, and never lose my train of thought, you are worthy of my time. I will always be here to help you in anyway possible. Whenever you need me, I will be here for you. No matter the time, day, or year - you know where to find me. Use it to your advantage. I mean it! Even if it's borrowing $1,000, well, you get the point. Never be afraid to ask, ANYTHING. I'm not the one to judge, and I will try to steer you in the best way possible. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I've made, and I don't want you to get hurt the way I have. You deserve a lot out of life, and a lot out of someone as well. You are that of high value, so you shouldn't EVER settle for anything less than that.
So, with all of that being said, I hope I have restored your own faith in yourself, and have made you feel better about yourself, and life in general. I wouldn't have typed all of this if I didn't feel as if you wouldn't have taken it to heart. You are Jessica Dawn Hill - you are you - and you are one of a kind.
God is love - Love God!
Christian!
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