Why Millennials leave?

Our mindset is what makes us unique to the workforce. We are more open-minded, but at the same time, we have a vision for ourselves and where we want to go. I've always felt like the millennials are not afraid of change, and because of that, end up not being afraid to leave their job for something else if they are not satisfied. 

Millennials also love technology, it's no secret. Most of us want a fun culture, something that draws our interest. What can companies offer us that keeps us smiling? Music, a gym, games, open communication, etc. We care about more than what our parents did, and we also want more than what they did. We're more educated, which opens our mind up to endless possibilities as to what we can do. We want to feel important, and we want to feel like we are heard. Ultimately, we all want to make a difference in our society by our words or actions, and if a company can foster all of this, millennials will stay!

Mixed Emotions

Feelings are crazy, right? Have you ever just seen someone throw some subtle, simple flirtation at you, but then turn around and act distant as if it never happened? It's like, a game? Why do people do this, and better yet, why do people fall for it? Is it silly human nature that we want what we can't have? Who knows. It's interesting though, especially as you get older. You would think you would see less and less of it happening, but ultimately, people are always going to be people, and emotions are always going to be emotions.

Welcome Back

Wow, so where to begin? I haven't posted anything since, what, March 2015? So much has happened since then, and I mean SO much. If you've ever read through my blogs since 2009, you know my roller coaster of emotions and have seen all the various things I have been through. Well, let me give you the run down of what has happened since March 2015.

First off, Marissa and I broke up. Obviously, she left me with an empty apartment, and I was left and forced to move back to North Carolina. (April 2015)

In April 2015, once I got back settled, I landed a temp. job working at Pearson in Charlotte that was only for a few months.

Early May 2015, I randomly messaged a girl on Facebook that I had been friends with since 2013 (but never really knew her, AT ALL) and said hey.

One conversation lead to another, and all of a sudden, we were dating. That fast.

Early June 2015, I flew cross country from Charlotte, NC to Phoenix, AZ to meet her for the first time.
I came back to Charlotte a week later, and then a week after that, guess what? I moved. Yep. I literally made the cross country move to Phoenix, AZ with just ONE suitcase.

July 2015, not only did we get engaged, but also found out we were pregnant! I landed a job with Drivetime (Now Bridgecrest), and pretty much just worked, worked, and worked.

March 2016, our baby girl was born (Presley).

May 2016 - Moved into a huge, luxury apartment complex right next to my work (I could walk to work!)

May-June-July 2016 - I made so much money at my job, and was bonusing left and right. But our happiness was decreasing.

August 1 - We decided to pack up, and move back to the East Coast (Charlotte, NC).

It's now November 2016, and here I am. (At work, actually - Aon). We're in the process of moving into a new apartment here pretty soon.

RECAP: Wow. Can you believe all of that? What a change of events. Literally after everything that happened in 2015, and all the hectic events, and then all of a sudden, when you least expect it, life just throws you something new. It'll be interesting to see where things go from here.

NOTE TO SELF: Don't dwell too much on the bad things to happen to you in life. Eventually, things will find a way to work itself out, and when it does, you will look back and appreciate what you have now.

2008

Reasons why 2008 was MY favorite year, to date...

• My best friend was in a positive relationship
• I was dating my high school crush after months of chasing!
• The Carolina Panthers were dominant, and went to the playoffs
• I turned 18, finally!
• I got promoted to be a manager at the car wash I worked at
• Moved into a new house
• Had a pretty big social group
• Grades in school were at an all-time high
• Found out I was accepted to UNC Charlotte!
• Had ZERO depression or anxiety
• Had no debt

Temptation versus the Heart

The year was 2008 - Nearly 7 years ago. I landed my first girlfriend. She was everything I ever dreamed of in a girl. Blonde hair to the shoulders, a smile that gave you butterflies, and a kind-hearted spirit that would do anything and everything for you.

The year was 2006 - Nearly 9 years ago. I fell in love with a girl that only wanted to be my friend, and nothing more. Time and time again, I would bring up the idea of being together. It never happened. I began to lose faith in myself and my self confidence plummeted. I felt like there was something that I could do to impress her that would make her like me. I wish I would have known that it's impossible to force someone to like you.

The girl that never gave me a chance built up hatred for my girlfriend. Maybe it was jealously, or maybe it was  that my time was no longer spent around her finger.

Times were great. I was very happy with my girlfriend felt like I was living a real life fairy tale. We would sneak out of class to give each other a kiss, and would sit in the car all night listening to music. Life was simple, and so were we.

No more than 2 months into the relationship, the girl who never gave me a chance decides to pop back up in my life, telling me that she'd be with me if I chose to leave my girlfriend. The spark was lit, and I became overwhelmed with nostalgia. Memories kept appearing in my mind, and I suddenly found myself missing her and yearning for her attention and love.

I gave up my girlfriend, only to find out it was only to get me away from her. I gave up my girlfriend to be with someone who had falsified their intentions. My girlfriend became sad and angry, and I became sad, angry and single. There was no going back. There was no second chance. There was no more her.

The year was 2015 - Present time. I sit here, looking at these two girls. One being my ex-girlfriend, and the other being the one that never gave me the chance. They both got pregnant and had children. Looking through old pictures and letters from the girl that never gave me a chance doesn't and hasn't phased me for quite some time. But, seeing pictures and letters from the girl I once dated saddens me. She pops up in my dreams at night, and appears in my mind randomly throughout the day.

Why?

Why did I make that decision in 2008? What would life have been like? Would we have been typical high school sweethearts that get married and live a happy life?

I wish I knew that answer.

Flashback

You know, I might have taken for granted a friendship from back in the day, but I really do miss them. The endless nights of staying up, talking on the phone for hours, about anything and everything. The fact that I could have an intellectual conversation with this girl about politics, health, science, history just amazes me. It's no surprise that I had feelings for her. How can you not? Someone that really understands your drive and your ambition and wants to be a part of it. That person sees your vision and wants the best for you. You add that with the feelings of attraction you have for them - it creates this amazing feeling of attachment. But, wanting what you can't have is dangerous and can mess your mind up. Did feelings get in the way? Probably. But, it was good while it lasted. Really good. #JH

What I Want in a Girl VS What I Don't Want

I've had my fair share of fun and know what it feels like to have lust for someone and to have sincere feelings as well. There is a big difference, but in the end, I don't want someone that I can fantasize over - I want someone who wants me to be better, to do better, and to never stop trying. Here is a brief look at what I want in a girl, versus what I don't want.

What I DO Want:

• Intellect: Not only being smart, but the ability to express it in a variety of ways.
• Communication Skills: I want someone that I can talk to for an hour about health, politics, feelings, or world events.
• Ambition/Drive: Confidence is everything. Never stop trying. I want a girl that wants more and more and will never give up on her career or dreams.
• Creativity: Be creative, be innovative. Think outside the box.
• Passion for Music: I don't care what genre, just any type of music. Feel it. Love it. Share it. Talk about it. Music, to me, is everything.
• Respect: Respect me and what I like to do, and I will return the favor. Don't judge me or my habits.

What I DON'T Want:

• Laziness: If something needs attention, don't put it off. Fix it. If the trash is full, and I come home from work and you're on the couch watching TV all day, I know there's time to take it out.
• No Drive: Don't get complacent. I don't want someone who is okay with average or is just okay with what we have. I want to be successful and that means always pushing to be better.
• Too Much Intimacy: I don't want to cuddle every hour of every day. I need to breathe. It's okay to cuddle and watch a movie and stuff, but when I get home from work, I want to get dressed and make dinner. Not just jump right into a cuddle session!
• Insecurity: Look, no one wants to be mislead and no one wants to be cheated on. But, we are humans and we all have friends. Just because I have a few female friends that are just friends doesn't mean I am secretly talking to them behind your back. Trust is huge, and it goes both ways.

I don't worry too much about either category, but it's definitely a good thing if someone does possess more of the WANTS than the DON'TS!

The Struggle

The past is always there, calling my name, wanting me to give into the temptation to reach out to those who did me wrong, or never gave me the time of day. The thought process the mind goes through when it wants to achieve something it couldn't do before. Maybe things have changed? Or, just maybe, we have witnessed or been through more situations that will help us achieve that unknown. We're always going to be stuck wondering "what if" for all those moments we couldn't get what we wanted.

Feeling Lost

So, now what? It's been a year since graduating college. I look back at my 4 year journey and it makes me sad because of all the good times and memories I created. The fun adventures of working in the Student Union with all my friends, and watching movies with them in the Movie Theater. Literally, those were the best years of my life, no doubt.

I just look back at it, and now I realize what everyone talks about. You know, living in the moment. Like, not wanting to rush through life and taking what you have in front of you and making the most of it. Yeah, I see it now and I regret some things. It's almost like I wanted to grow up too fast. I think it was my junior year in college that I wanted to rush things so I could hurry up and graduate. I wanted to graduate fast, get out, get a high paying job, make lots of money, and live that big fancy life.

Well, that's not the case of what really happened. I graduated in December 2013. So, 2014, to me, had such high expectations. I wanted to do the impossible. I wanted to make my family and friends proud. I wanted to prove to them and myself that I was meant to be here and that I could make something of myself.

In 2014, I ended up living in 3 different states and holding 6 different jobs. The word of the year was unstable. I went to Disney after college to make minimum wage to pursue dreams of my Disney Career. I ended up leaving Disney for Avis Budget Group in Orlando. Then I left there and moved back to North Carolina in the Summer. I felt lost. I didn't know what I wanted. Then, in late fall, I moved to Michigan to be with my now, girlfriend. I'm still lost.

I miss North Carolina. I miss my old friends. I miss my family. I miss my old lifestyle. I miss doing what makes me happy. But, if there's one thing I have learned in the last year, it's this - The grass isn't always greener on the other side. And, please, believe me. It is not. I promise.

As of now, it's January 2015. I'm working in a call center answering phone calls all day, making a wage that in no way meets my expectations for having a 4 year Business degree.

What do I do? Do I quit and go back to North Carolina? Do I stick with it and stay in Michigan? I don't know what to do, but I guess time will tell.

Hopefully things get better, soon.

Womanizers

Written By: Christian Lawrence, 03/18/2013

Question being presented: How people can't change? The reason some boys/girls become cheaters or liars. What in their past made them that way? And how one little instance can make them relapse into their cheating ways?

Can people change? Can you turn a bad person into a good person, or can you transform a good person into a bad person? What shapes the characteristics that underlies the issue for these transformations? Many people have heard of the Nature vs. Nurture argument. Nature, being that individual's personalities are shaped by external factors. These can be friends, where you live, what school you went to, and anything that can be changed at their disposal. Nurture, on the other hand, is the opposite. With nurture, it is more of one's culture and upbringing. Maybe someone grew up in a good or bad environment where they were adapted to abide by that of which was accepted in the household.

In regards of how someone changes? What makes someone vulnerable to not wanting to change? In simple terms, it's a defense mechanism that we have as humans. It we get shot, we will naturally be weary of guns. If we get bit by a dog, we won't want to be around dogs for a period of time. Our brains remember more than we think. That may sound odd, but it's true. When we go through bad experiences, and eventually heal, our minds attain every detail and turns it into a defense. In the case of love, relationships, or just plain lust, the relationship is just the same. A really bad heartbreak can turn someone very deceptive. While someone may appear to be nice and gentle on the outside, deep down they are subconsciously dwelling of it. The opposite is true as well. Someone that may appear to be hard, tough, and not easy to get along with, actually can be perfectly at ease on the inside. They never went through a bad heartbreak, thus, many people find "hard" people attractive because of their fierce independence. Even after knowing someone for years, it's nearly impossible to fully figure someone out. Emotions are forever changing within us. One day we feel a certain way, then may feel the opposite the next.

But what happens when someone can be changed? It's tricky. The main evidence that may seem very likely is the trigger mechanism. What happens when you quit smoking for a month, and smoke one with a friend one day? More than likely, you will pick back up the bad habit. The same thing is true with people. From a permanent perspective, no one can really be changed. While it may work for a month, year, 2 years, 10 years, you never know when something will mentally be triggered to cause that emotional relapse. We have all been told the "once a cheater, always a cheater" saying. Some people will argue the statement by saying that everyone is different. But while there may be a few people out there than can ultimately change their ways, on a macro level, it's not possible. In the mindset of a cheater, once you get away with it, you learn to sharpen your expertise. Eventually, someone can become such an exceptional cheater, that you may never know the truth from a relationship.

You really can't trust anyone. You should never put all your trust into someone, either. Trust has to be earned If you need help with this, use a credit rating system. Would you lend a $4,000 loan to someone with a 500 credit score, or one with an 800 score? 800 right? We need to learn how to look at someone's past, in an educated way, without being biased, and make a generalization about what we expect to get out it. High risk? Low risk? What will be our return on our investment with that person?

It's worth pondering...

Emotional Intervention on Sex

Emotional Intervention on Sex  

Written By: Christian Lawrence, 03/18/2013

It is candidly the best experience two people that are emotionally attached can undergo. What genuinely interests me, though, is the study of before and after that first, second, and third sexual experience. Will things, emotionally or mentally ever be the same as it was before? Scientific studies have been produced to show that when people reach an orgasm with their partner for the first time, the chemical, oxytocin, is released all over. This chemical is the main ingredient found in many anti-depressants. My argument is that if people just quit having sex, can things ever be the same between them? Imagine being sexually active with just one person for a year. Now consider the alternative of taking an anti-depressant for a year. If the first person quit having sex with their partner, and the other person quit taking the happy pill, what would happen? I've seen many cases where people get overly angry and irritated when they are turned down from sex after previously being sexual with them. Who is to blame for the all the break ups, arguments, and harassment following sexual abuse? Is it the girl for no longer wanting to have sex? Is it the chemical imbalance and lack of oxytocin in the brain from the guy? Or is either males or females to blame? It can be argued that sex does indeed change people's emotion over someone they are interested in. That's not to say this is the excuse for sexual abuse, but it can definitely be broken down into many parts that can be looked at in more detail.

You Have to Realize

Her: I do have feelings for you, but I just don't know how to act on them.

Me: I know you have a boyfriend and all, but I just don't feel like you want to pursue anything or risk anything. It's a shame because I really do care for you more than you could ever know.

Her: It's not that. I don't want to cheat again, so I don't say anything about me and you. I want to wait til everything plans out. I'm  not scared, you just gotta understand it's not that easy.

The Truth

Me: You say til everything plans out... What is there to plan out? You don't ever do anything about it. I mean, I just don't know what your plans are.

Her: It's gonna take time. I want to be single before we talk more about it. It's just hard to talk about it when I'm with Phil. I want to see what happens.

Me: I feel you, I just don't know what to do. I really do care for you in more ways then you know. Like, I feel like I could give you the world on some days. I don't wanna give up but at the same time, you having doubts scares me.

Her: You're sweet.

Me: These feelings are stronger than I could have imagined. I feel like you're the answer to everything. I hug you, and don't wanna let go. Never. I just wanna hold you forever. All those feelings - I don't wanna loose them. I've honestly never felt this way before about anymore and I know that sounds like a lie coming from me, but it's not. It's hard to explain. It's always been there. Now it's on fire and the flame can't be put out.

Her: Awwww, I don't know what to say.

Me: I don't know what to say, either.

Her: Ahhhhh

Blame Me. I Don't Care

I don't think I can do this anymore. I want to let go and forget I even tried to make this work. I'm sure if I gave it a lot of time and energy, it would be worth it - but I just simply don't want to. I feel like I'm not making any progress by trying to make her be with me because in reality, we all know that can't happen. You can't make someone be with you nor force them to change how you feel. She has a boyfriend, and yet she has feelings for me to. Call me the bad guy if you want, but I'm not the one to fully blame for this. I'm not saying it's her fault, but I definitely don't want to put the blame on myself anymore. In the past few weeks, I've gone out of my way to flatter her, do things for her, and do everything I could to make her laugh and have a good time. I'm trying to show her that I care. She tells me I'm sweet and thoughtful and that I would be such a good boyfriend to her, yet does absolutely nothing to fix the situation.

Enough with Waiting

Again, here I am and I swear this is starting to become a ever growing trend in my life. I don't want to wait. Maybe that sounds selfish of me, but I've already wasted nearly 4 years of my life waiting on one girl that never worked out. I mean, I'm out. I'm not doing it anymore. Life is to short to just waste time away like that. This new girl, I like her and all and she is really amazing. I've known her for years and we've always been close to one another. Although she has feelings for me and already agreed to the fact of wanting to be with me, she still has a boyfriend. And for the past 5-6 months, she keeps telling me "time, Christian.. time". I mean, okay, after a month that's fine. I don't mind giving someone space. But, I really am starting to feel like this is heading in the same direction as before. I've been here before. I know what to do but yet I just don't want to do it. What I want to do is keep waiting and hope that something happens and she will magically appear and be like, "okay! I'm ready". But in reality, what I need to do is quit waiting. Tell her sorry, and move on. The pain that I will suffer from doing this now will be less than that of what I would suffer if I keep on waiting for her to finally come to her senses about being with me.

What I've Learned in Relationships

Based off of a 4 year relationship, 4 month relationship, and 2 month relationship. Also based on numerous of non dating relationships. Learned a lot, even in the short relationships.

1. Don't be afraid to be emotional and creative. A big reason why I am highly creative today is because it was appreciated back then. I made my own anniversary cards/gifts. You have to think outside the box.

2. Don't ruin the moment. If you realize you're in a "moment", everything that you're supposed to do in that time frame can wait. Don't ruin a moment because you need to get home before a certain time, or your phone is ringing. Moments are hard to come by so gain everything you can from it.

3. Don't give up what you already have for something you think is better. I did this and it was a huge mistake. Instead, be glad of what you already have in front of you. The only reason why you think there is something better is because it's new to you. Don't believe the hype. Find different ways to make what you currently have more interesting, and do things you haven't done before.

4. To get what you've never had, you got to do what you've never done. It's amazing how so much can change with only a few minor changes in how you do things. Change your attitude, views, dress, preferences, and I guarantee you find noticeable differences in your life. You don't have to change everything, but at least change something. In order to get change, you have to change your views first.

5. Don't say too much in one night. My dad tried to always force this in my head. Every time I went on a date and noticed how flattered a girl was, I would give her more and more and more til eventually, it just got old. You don't want to do this. As my dad would say, save some for another day because you're not getting married overnight. Flatter the person you're with, just not all at one time.

6. Intelligence shows a lot. I'm not just saying this because I'm a college student. I have noticed a huge difference with this. Girls that are up to date with basic news (gas prices, war, presidential candidates...) have far more going for them. I'm not being biased, I'm just being real. I consider myself to be a future successor, meaning I want to make it big one day. If I get married, or have a long term partner, she doesn't have to be a nerd, but she definitely needs to be intellectual.

7. Don't get into a routine. Most people, including myself, get used to doing the same things over and over. Maybe it's calling at the same time every night, listening to the same songs over and over, eating lunch at the same diner. Switch it up sometimes. BE SPONTANEOUS by all means! Don't be afraid to take chances. One thing I remember being a neat idea was taking a random beach trip in the middle of night. Do what you can with the resources you have at your disposal.

At This Moment

She is constantly on my mind. No matter what I do to distract myself from the incoming thoughts of her, she always pops up at the most random of times. Why does this always seem to the problem with me? I try to never let myself get to this breaking point, you know, and I always tell myself to not let my emotions get the best of me. Yet, every time someone comes into my life, this is the outcome. This time, however, is different. This isn't just an ordinary girl. This is a girl that I've had and lost numerous of times. One day she is in my life, the next day she doesn't exist. The roller coaster of emotions seems to play a toll in the stability of my mind. Is there a way to control it? I really think there is one option, and simply put, that is to just let everything play out. I really think the biggest reason for this, right now, is because of the excitement I get from thinking of past experiences and combining those with thoughts of what the future could be like. Don't get me wrong, though, because this is by far not a complaint. It's simply an open minded message of how I feel, and right now I feel great. Sure, maybe if she was single things would be better and easier, but where's the hope and faith that I'm so critically known for? A lot of people look at me as being the one with all the passion, determination, and patience when it comes to this kind of stuff. I can't fail myself now, right? At the same time, when is it time to stop trying? We all know from my past that I spent numerous of years chasing after one person and ultimately ended up being a waste of time considering the outcome of her pregnancy (not mine). I think what I have to tell myself this go around is that this girl is different, and far from that of what I have had in my past. Unlike the other immature girls that I have to put up with, this girl actually matured faster than what I expected. She took the time to research what was needed to pursue an education, and actually became a store manager at her place of employment. In high school, I remember she used to have that typical teenage attitude of "I don't ever have to do this or that" because people would always give her what she wanted. I guess she found out somewhere down the road that life doesn't work that way. I'm proud of her to say the least. She exceeded my expectations and has become a girl that I see worthy of possibly spending a lot of time together with. The ball is in her court, and I believe she knows that. At this moment, she knows how I feel and what I want. And at this moment, she knows I'm thinking of  her.

An Old Flame

Recently, I've been becoming closer to someone with whom I had a past with. This isn't just some ordinary past, however, this is a past that involved ruined friendships, untold secrets, and regrets. Although this may sound haunting, it's actually becoming a good thing. This girl, who will stay unnamed, is one of the few that can keep me laughing constantly throughout the day and knows exactly what I'm thinking most of the time. Spending the past three days together, we've come to realize that our maturity as people has increased significantly since previous close encounters years ago. They say people change with time, and in that time, we are able to learn from our mistakes. "You guys are gonna get married one day, I just know it" her friend privately told me yesterday. "She's practically in love with you but she just won't admit it to herself."
This isn't really shocking considering the strength of our bond we had in the past. We were never able to have a relationship due to many factors that were mainly beyond our control. Now, years have passed, and we have both had time to better ourselves and achieve greater things than we could have at that previous point in time.
The downfall? She remains taken. She has been with the same guy for nearly four years now. It may sound like an awesome thing to those on the outside looking in, but in reality, it's not as great as it sounds. Through many short breakups, trust issues, and arguing, their relationship has been very unstable in the recent times, going back to only last year.
I don't plan on doing anything or acting on anything that would ruin their relationship, nor would I force myself to do whatever it took to do so. However, I do know that her feelings towards me can't be hidden, and that will remain an issue for her. You can't hide from your feelings forever, so eventually, she will have to face reality and make a decision. In all honestly, I hate the fact of knowing I'm the main cause of a breakup, but at the same time, I know it wouldn't be a mistake either. I'm very capable of treating someone right and doing everything possible to ensure the strength of a relationship. I mean, there is a reason why she already has feelings for me, so I guess all I do now is wait.

She Made it

Samantha graduated high school today. I still haven't seen or spoke to her in months, but yet I still feel quite at ease knowing she is well off. Although the ending was rough between Samantha and I, I'm glad to know she didn't give up. I remember when when we first started dating, I was falling behind in my college courses. She was there to help and pick me up - to better myself and to ensure that I was doing my absolute best. Without her help, guidance, and encouragement, I wouldn't have made it through some of the roughest times. Considering that we may never see each other again, I still hope that she achieves some of the greatest things in life and gets everything she deserves.

Let's Just be Friends

It’s another cold, calm night. There hasn’t been any communication with no one since the infamous text earlier in the week. Why is it so hard to swallow the truth? Sometimes, it feels better to paint a fictional picture in my mind to help overcome the negativity of this situation. I’ve been here before, though, and experienced this so there is no reason why I should be letting it get to me the way it is. Honestly, I’m ashamed. In reality, I though I taught myself better than this – you know, learning from my mistakes? What happened to all the times I told myself I was going to master my mistakes and make better decisions and judgments? It’s not April, but I do feel like a fool. Right when I was starting to achieve some really great things in life and gaining some of that much needed confidence back. Obviously, my life isn’t a perfect track record. There have been so many times where so many great things happen at once, followed by one substantial mistake that leads me down yet another dark and lonely path.