Time is going by way tooooo fast.

 I made my way back here and realized I started writing my thoughts here back in 2009. That's 13 years ago? Wait, what? That's a decade plus 3?

Where does time go? I remember as a kid, I always thought time went by so slow, constantly wishing I was "older" so I could do certain things. Well - that's what I get right? Exactly what I asked for.

All the memories created years ago, the parties that were thrown, the people that were met, the music that was on, it all just slips away into the shadows.

Nothing more than just getting locked into the zone of waking up, going to work, taking care of the bills, make sure the family is taken care of, as the years just speed by like a speeding bullet.

What causes this? Why does time have to go by so fast? What are the best practices to try to slow it down, not in a literal since, because that's impossible, but like, what lifestyle changes can be done to actually seem like it's not going as fast as it is?

I wish I could figure it out.

Nostalgia, which I what I call a drug, is so addicting, I  mean, legit heavy, that it's the craziest addiction I've ever had. The "natural" high you get out of living in the past is dangerous because the past is the past for a reason. The future is what you have left, the past is already gone. But, come on - I can't be the only one who loves to think of all the "what-ifs" of life, especially certain paths you took, or didn't take.

But, at the end, it's cool to go back and reflect on what was written so long ago. I find the joy of writing these thoughts down here, because I can always come back to see what I was feeling, and hopefully remember certain memories that I don't forget later.

Why Millennials leave?

Our mindset is what makes us unique to the workforce. We are more open-minded, but at the same time, we have a vision for ourselves and where we want to go. I've always felt like the millennials are not afraid of change, and because of that, end up not being afraid to leave their job for something else if they are not satisfied. 

Millennials also love technology, it's no secret. Most of us want a fun culture, something that draws our interest. What can companies offer us that keeps us smiling? Music, a gym, games, open communication, etc. We care about more than what our parents did, and we also want more than what they did. We're more educated, which opens our mind up to endless possibilities as to what we can do. We want to feel important, and we want to feel like we are heard. Ultimately, we all want to make a difference in our society by our words or actions, and if a company can foster all of this, millennials will stay!

Mixed Emotions

Feelings are crazy, right? Have you ever just seen someone throw some subtle, simple flirtation at you, but then turn around and act distant as if it never happened? It's like, a game? Why do people do this, and better yet, why do people fall for it? Is it silly human nature that we want what we can't have? Who knows. It's interesting though, especially as you get older. You would think you would see less and less of it happening, but ultimately, people are always going to be people, and emotions are always going to be emotions.

Welcome Back

Wow, so where to begin? I haven't posted anything since, what, March 2015? So much has happened since then, and I mean SO much. If you've ever read through my blogs since 2009, you know my roller coaster of emotions and have seen all the various things I have been through. Well, let me give you the run down of what has happened since March 2015.

First off, Marissa and I broke up. Obviously, she left me with an empty apartment, and I was left and forced to move back to North Carolina. (April 2015)

In April 2015, once I got back settled, I landed a temp. job working at Pearson in Charlotte that was only for a few months.

Early May 2015, I randomly messaged a girl on Facebook that I had been friends with since 2013 (but never really knew her, AT ALL) and said hey.

One conversation lead to another, and all of a sudden, we were dating. That fast.

Early June 2015, I flew cross country from Charlotte, NC to Phoenix, AZ to meet her for the first time.
I came back to Charlotte a week later, and then a week after that, guess what? I moved. Yep. I literally made the cross country move to Phoenix, AZ with just ONE suitcase.

July 2015, not only did we get engaged, but also found out we were pregnant! I landed a job with Drivetime (Now Bridgecrest), and pretty much just worked, worked, and worked.

March 2016, our baby girl was born (Presley).

May 2016 - Moved into a huge, luxury apartment complex right next to my work (I could walk to work!)

May-June-July 2016 - I made so much money at my job, and was bonusing left and right. But our happiness was decreasing.

August 1 - We decided to pack up, and move back to the East Coast (Charlotte, NC).

It's now November 2016, and here I am. (At work, actually - Aon). We're in the process of moving into a new apartment here pretty soon.

RECAP: Wow. Can you believe all of that? What a change of events. Literally after everything that happened in 2015, and all the hectic events, and then all of a sudden, when you least expect it, life just throws you something new. It'll be interesting to see where things go from here.

NOTE TO SELF: Don't dwell too much on the bad things to happen to you in life. Eventually, things will find a way to work itself out, and when it does, you will look back and appreciate what you have now.

8 Years Later

Gave a girl that I was in love with a ring 8 years ago. I just found out something that literally made my day. Check out the text I got from her today.

"I don't know if you remember, but when it was given to me, I asked what the symbol meant - with two hands to the heart and you said it was Irish for "friendship". Well, mister, I looked it up and it in fact means marriage, not friendship. Lol."

#8YearsLater #MyLifeisComplete

Need a Hand?

Friend: I've been pretty unhappy lately generally.. but these new plans definitely rejuvenated me.

Me: Unhappy about what?

Friend: Eh. Kinda down on myself, missing home & friends, etc etc

Me: If it makes you feel any better, I've been pretty unhappy too, so I guess we can relate. Yes, for same exact reasons.

Friend: Well I wouldn't want you/anyone being unhappy but it does help. I think i'm back in a funk but today i'm feeling lightyears better

Me: I tell my friends and family all the time that I'm doing well, but deep down it's like I want more and want to do more, but I feel like I'm stuck in once place. I know Marissa wouldn't move to NC if I left, and that bothers me, plus like you, I really miss my family, and Daniel. (Like you and Alice.. ) I wake up everyday thinking I'll have an answer, but then the day goes by and it suddenly becomes the next day.

Friend: And you're just smacked in the face with the same routine that you find boring/unfulfilling and generally just sucks.

 

Me: YES. All the way. Should have known you'd be the only person that could put it into perspective for me.

Me: But yes, I never want to be complacent, not at this age at least, and I feel like that's what's happening.

Me: Waking up, feeling 100% happy, looking forward to what's to come, and have ambition and drive to actually go out and do something relevant, that matters, is all we really want to do. Why can't we? It's all we ever talk about - and for some reason - we wake up to do the complete opposite. Something acts as if it's holding us back. I just want to cut the leash off and run!

Friend: My motivation/drive has definitely decreased. Along with my self confidence and such because of it. I've felt very directionless and lost because of it. It's been a little rough.

Me: I remember you experienced this before, too. Interesting, because you're the last person who I would expect to lose self-confidence and motivation, but it does happen to the best of us. Well, I'm glad I can be back somewhat for you to talk to whenever, and that works likewise. I really do value your insight and wisdom. Maybe once you get back to Charlotte, things will get a little better and reality will feel normal once again. I hope so for the both of us!

Friend: I have a lot of hope for us. Just a simple rut and a lot of it is in my mind. I think we have the capability to be great.

Me: I think so too my friend. Everything starts in the mind, and that's the first step in getting out of the rut. Thinking positive, and speaking positive is a start. Also - music therapy helps.  I still think music is the best medicine!

Friend: You're so right. I need to get back to doing things for my soul. The winter doesn't help at all either!!

Me: Feeding soul = Feeding the mind = Feeding happiness. Dopamine is free. That feeling you get when you get chills from hearing a certain song, or hearing something? Free medicine : )

Where's the Motivation?

Friend: It sucks when you stray from your passions/hobbies. I've found myself lost from that as well.

Me: Isn't it though? 2011 I felt was my strongest. I was literally learning every day, and challenging myself to come up with new projects and ideas. You remember that investment dating them I came up with way back when? I still have that. I just wish I could not work, and just learn every day, and travel to share the information.

Friend: Save up and do just that!! I haven't figured out just exactly what I want to do but traveling is in it. I miss valuing learning. I can't even read a book for enjoyment anymore I'm so swamped with other things!!

Me: Truth. Why can't we have our own talk show? Can you imagine!!!!

Friend: That's a life that sounds so amazing yet somehow so unfathomable and it's annoying!!!

Me: Getting paid to talk about stuff. I hate visioning stuff that I know is nearly impossible. Nothing is totally impossible, but for sure out of reach. Oh how the imagination makes you think.

Friend: I HATE IT. You get so attached to the idea/fantasy and then boom. Nothing.

Me: Seriously though. I hate how people like us (and more of them out there) are stuck with these innovative solutions for problems, and visions that can change people’s lives, and we suffer at the bottom. Smart people suffering. Good spirits too. Good minds that let time go by and don't have the power or resources to use it the way that want.

Friend: And a lot of those times all of that turns negative in hate and anger and that SUCKS