Womanizers

Written By: Christian Lawrence, 03/18/2013

Question being presented: How people can't change? The reason some boys/girls become cheaters or liars. What in their past made them that way? And how one little instance can make them relapse into their cheating ways?

Can people change? Can you turn a bad person into a good person, or can you transform a good person into a bad person? What shapes the characteristics that underlies the issue for these transformations? Many people have heard of the Nature vs. Nurture argument. Nature, being that individual's personalities are shaped by external factors. These can be friends, where you live, what school you went to, and anything that can be changed at their disposal. Nurture, on the other hand, is the opposite. With nurture, it is more of one's culture and upbringing. Maybe someone grew up in a good or bad environment where they were adapted to abide by that of which was accepted in the household.

In regards of how someone changes? What makes someone vulnerable to not wanting to change? In simple terms, it's a defense mechanism that we have as humans. It we get shot, we will naturally be weary of guns. If we get bit by a dog, we won't want to be around dogs for a period of time. Our brains remember more than we think. That may sound odd, but it's true. When we go through bad experiences, and eventually heal, our minds attain every detail and turns it into a defense. In the case of love, relationships, or just plain lust, the relationship is just the same. A really bad heartbreak can turn someone very deceptive. While someone may appear to be nice and gentle on the outside, deep down they are subconsciously dwelling of it. The opposite is true as well. Someone that may appear to be hard, tough, and not easy to get along with, actually can be perfectly at ease on the inside. They never went through a bad heartbreak, thus, many people find "hard" people attractive because of their fierce independence. Even after knowing someone for years, it's nearly impossible to fully figure someone out. Emotions are forever changing within us. One day we feel a certain way, then may feel the opposite the next.

But what happens when someone can be changed? It's tricky. The main evidence that may seem very likely is the trigger mechanism. What happens when you quit smoking for a month, and smoke one with a friend one day? More than likely, you will pick back up the bad habit. The same thing is true with people. From a permanent perspective, no one can really be changed. While it may work for a month, year, 2 years, 10 years, you never know when something will mentally be triggered to cause that emotional relapse. We have all been told the "once a cheater, always a cheater" saying. Some people will argue the statement by saying that everyone is different. But while there may be a few people out there than can ultimately change their ways, on a macro level, it's not possible. In the mindset of a cheater, once you get away with it, you learn to sharpen your expertise. Eventually, someone can become such an exceptional cheater, that you may never know the truth from a relationship.

You really can't trust anyone. You should never put all your trust into someone, either. Trust has to be earned If you need help with this, use a credit rating system. Would you lend a $4,000 loan to someone with a 500 credit score, or one with an 800 score? 800 right? We need to learn how to look at someone's past, in an educated way, without being biased, and make a generalization about what we expect to get out it. High risk? Low risk? What will be our return on our investment with that person?

It's worth pondering...